There are many ways to live a good life, but in modern times it feels harder than ever.
Loneliness, anxiety, and depression are all on the rise, especially among younger generations.
We live in a hyper-individualistic society here in the West, which means you’re often left alone with your struggles. In the East, life is more collective and the elderly play a bigger role in daily life. I’m not saying one is better than the other, but I want to share some wisdom passed down from my own elder.
Today, I want to present three “rules” or elements from my mother. In her view, these are the foundations of a good life. They aren’t about material goals or external achievements. They’re about states of mind things anyone can cultivate, regardless of circumstance.
Something to do
The first element is having something to do. Most people have a natural urge to stay active. That is why, when someone gets laid off, they often find themselves suddenly restless and bored out of their mind. And the people who have given up on that urge tend to become complacent, stagnant, and quietly unhappy.
Being stuck in a dead-end job with no future prospects sounds like a terrible fate for anyone, but this advice is not really about your material circumstances. It does not have to be a career. It can be something as simple as walking your dog every morning. It can be volunteer work, or a hobby that energizes you every time you do it.
The core of this tip is to avoid sitting alone with your thoughts for too long. It is healthy to unplug, take out your headphones, and sit in the quiet from time to time. But long periods of isolation and endless thinking can drain you. The point is to get out, move, and take part in the world around you.
Something to look forward to
This point connects naturally to the first one. Having something you genuinely look forward to is one of the simplest foundations of happiness. It does not have to be a hobby. It can be a date, a party, the release of a new album, movie, or game. Anything that creates a spark of anticipation can make the present feel lighter.
It can also be something very small or ordinary. Many people look forward to the weekend even if nothing special is planned. Maybe you drive home from school or work knowing that the bag of chips you bought is waiting for you. Maybe you are excited for the first cup of coffee in the morning, a warm shower after a long day, or a quiet hour of reading before bed. It can be planning a future trip, meeting a friend for a walk, or even knowing a favourite show will be on tonight.
The size of the thing does not matter. What matters is that something in your future gives you a small lift today.
Someone to love (and receive love)
This element is often fulfilled through a romantic partner, a parent, or a child. Close friendships can help as well, but they rarely create the same depth of emotional attachment. Friendships are still important for a good life, but in this segment the focus is on relationships that give you a strong sense of love and belonging.
When I spoke to my mother about this point, she specifically said that a dog could fill this role. A dog loves you without question. It greets you with joy, notices your moods, and gives you a steady source of affection. For many people, a dog can provide a kind of emotional warmth that feels very real and very healing. A cat can also offer comfort and companionship, though my mother was very clear that a dog, in particular, can meet this need more fully.
Loneliness is becoming a widespread problem. It is harder to find a partner today. Many of us move far away from our parents to study or work. And without a partner, the idea of having children can feel impossible. In a life shaped by distance and independence, it is no surprise that many people feel a growing emptiness.
At its core, this element is about having someone who loves you and someone you can love in return. It is the feeling of being cared for, wanted, and emotionally connected. Whether that comes from a partner, a family member, or even a loyal dog, the result is the same. You are no longer alone in the world.
Conclusion
So many people today are unhappy, and the reasons are countless. It is impossible to point to one single cause. Life is complicated, and modern pressures weigh on all of us in different ways. The important thing is not to let it consume you.
My mother’s three elements are simple, but they offer a real sense of direction. As long as you have something to do, something to look forward to, and someone in your life to love and receive love from, you are giving yourself a chance at a better and more meaningful life. It may not solve everything, but it can create a foundation that makes the hard parts easier to bear.
Happiness is not a perfect state. It is something we build a little at a time. And these three small elements can guide you toward it.