Let’s all be real for a moment, self-help books suck. The idea that you can engineer the perfect life is something particularly optimistic. Yes, your life might suck right now, you might feel stuck without any hope for a brighter future. You might be born in a country plagued with constant war and without clean water, but fear not! For there is an abundance of self-help books that can help you out, regardless of your circumstances.
Now, as you might be able to tell I come from a country where pessimism and low expectations are the keys to happiness. Self-help books are not really that popular in Denmark and hardly anyone is writing them. We are a people who have learned to be contempt with what we have, and make the best of it.
In the US self-help books are the most sold “genre” when it comes to books. This creates an abundance and an overflow of crap self-help books. So, if you want to improve your life and you find yourself consuming book after book on the topic, stop and read these 5.
How to win friends and influence people By Dale Carnegie
Keywords: Social skills, communication, friends, leadership
Published in 1936 this book still contains some timeless wisdom. If you find it difficult to make friends & social connections, or if you find yourself in a leadership position then this book is absolutely for you and a must-read.
Carnegie talks about how to handle people and how to make people like you. He explains how people are more interesting than you could ever imagine and by truly listening to them you might unlock secrets and stories you would not otherwise.
He essentially talks about how to increase your social IQ and thus being able to persuade people to your way of thinking.
With the increasing number of people feeling lonely in the world this book might be more needed now than ever. He also has another great book about “how to stop worrying and start living”. I would recommend that book to anyone who is a chronic overthinker like me.
The subtle art of not giving a fuck By Mark Manson
Keywords: Mindset, psychology, philosophy
The title of this book is kind of misleading, the book is not about “not giving a fuck” quite the opposite in fact, it suggests that we have to give a fuck about something and thus we have to be selective in what we choose to give a fuck about. If you are concerned with what other people think of you then you need better and bigger things to concern yourself with.
Manson wrote the book as a counter to the traditional self-help book, focusing much more on mindset, psychology, philosophy to be happy.
Manson challenges a lot of cultural norms, he outlines how happiness is not the goal of life, he talks about how you are not special and that no one is. The book works as a splash of cold water in your face, waking you up and helping you live in the real world.
Mark Manson has branded himself as someone who offers “life advice that doesn’t suck” and boy does he deliver. He tells his message very direct with no bullshit or sugarcoating. He also drops a lot of f-bombs as you might have realized by now, if this bothers you then fuck you read something else.
I should add a little disclaimer here.
Mark Manson is a very active blogger and YouTuber along with being an author. If you consume his blogposts or his youtube channel (which you should they are both great) you might not find anything new in this book, since this book is more of a collection of his work. I will therefore recommend you start with the book and then explore his other work.
Atomic Habits By James Clear
Keywords: Habits, productivity
Have you ever notice how you sometimes get these explosive bursts of inspiration and motivation for something. You might see something on TV motivating you to work out again. You start with working out 5 times a week then 4 then 3 till you are back where you started, why is that? Well, it is because willpower is simply not enough to do anything. Habits are the key to getting things done.
This book is all about being more productive and become 1% better every day. Clear outlines a lot of strategies and tricks to quit bad habits and replace them with good ones. He talks about how we should drop the idea of a “goal” and focus on systems instead. The book is in other words about making tiny changes to make yourself better each day. The tips are tangible and make sense.
Like Manson, Clear also has a blog where he posts articles and stuff. If you read his blog a lot then the book might seem like old news.
Deep Work By Cal Newport
Keywords: Deep work, productivity, work
This book is about work something we all have to do in our life. Cal argues that we waste so much time on shallow work, instead we should focus on deep work for a longer period of time a day. He talks about how by intense focusing you can achieve tremendous benefits.
Having the ability to focus intently on one thing in today’s world is increasingly valuable but also increasingly rare. We live in a world where everything is distracting us all the time. Cal says that every time we get distracted, for instance when we check social media our focus is reset. Since we only have a finite amount of attention a day, it is important to know how to use it.
We have all at the end of a day looked back and thought “what did I even do today?” Well, the reason is that we fill our time with things that seem important, but in reality, are not. Cal gives examples of how and when to use deep work, along with tactics and tricks to help you. A great book for everyone doing work (so everyone).
The war of art By Stephen Pressfield
Keywords: Art, Procrastination
Okay, so at this point, you have made some friends, changed your mindset, made habits that benefit you every day, and you get your work done faster because you use deep work. now comes the time where you have to create something. But you find it very hard to actually get started on something, you might have an outline for a book or a screenplay in your head for years, but you can’t seem to just get it down on paper. The reason is what Pressfield calls the resistance.
The resistance comes in many different sizes, it’s that little voice in your head that filling you with self-doubt. It says not today you are too tired today you can do it tomorrow, for the resistance is not clever it disguises itself to you as a friend. Instead of saying “I am never going to write my book” it says “I am going to write my book tomorrow” but tomorrow never comes.
If you are an inspiring artist or a person who feels they could make something but is paralyzed by self-doubt this book is an absolute must-read. Pressfield helps us all defeating the resistance so that we can live the life we want and deserve. The book is also very short and can be read by all.
I have always wanted to put my voice and work out on the internet, but I always felt I wasn’t ready. When I finished this book I started this blog immediately afterward. In many ways, my first post was heavily inspired by this book.